Teammates' Recommendation for Revision

☆Teammates' Advice

Chloe:

1. The time when Grammy appears can be more specific.(It has been a long time...)

2. Some of my settings and backgrounds should be shorter.


Robert:

1. ''We cannot neglect that Grammy's influential power to the world, even to us, the   university students.''

→ I should give some example about how it is influential.

2. I don't need to focus too much on the interviewers' characteristic

Brook and Kenny:

Some small Grammar mistakes should be revised.

☆My Opinion:

I will revised all the materials that the teammates tell me, and make it be looked upon as  more a news article. I really appreciate all of their recommendations.